OK – sorry for that title. It’s a little cryptic. I’m not dying.

I just figured that maybe I could share with the blogosphere what’s been going on with my health, since I have published a few posts in the recent past about my crazy head space. Well – now I know what it was all about, whereas before I was a little mystified. Or at least, I have a better idea of the whole picture.

It’s Graves disease.

For those who are like, wha?… it’s an autoimmune disease that effects the thyroid gland, termed hyperthyroidism. So the symptoms? Agitation, fits of rage, mental confusion, foggy brain, weak and wasting muscles, rapid heart and tachycardia. It speeds your metabolism up so basically everything in your body runs too quickly. Feel like internally you are at a brisk jog 24 7. I got really skinny in the past little while. But no muscle either. Can’t work out because chest pains and my heart will race for hours afterwards (a very strange feeling). Also you get chronically malnourished because food doesn’t stay in your body long enough to get digested properly. Which for me has led to exhaustion, anxiety, agitation and a general intolerance for people and situations. Including my little son who has been asking me why I’m so angry all the time (insert my broken heart here).

I figure it was my pregnancy that shifted everything. And then it was exacerbated by chronic no sleep for the first three years of my baby’s life. He woke (me) up every hour on the hour, 24 hours a day for about 2 and a half years. It was debilitating, mentally, emotionally, socially. And now it turns out, physically as well.

Prior to that I had been vegetarian for many years and had autoimmune symptoms off and on before. Eating meat for a while always healed me – but I always end up back off of it because ethically I have such a big problem with it – I have trouble justifying the animal’s loss of life so that I can have a steak for dinner.

In the end it looks like I can’t be a vegetarian and be healthy. I think what we can and cannot eat has a lot to do with our ancestry – and hey I’m Scottish so there’s that. I’ve switched to a Paleo style healing diet – and I actually have to eat, not just meat but like, liver and hearts and stuff… I can barely keep it together. But I keep telling myself that it’s medicine and I shove the ethics to the back of my mind – for now.

Update: utilizing this diet, along with Chinese Medicine (herbs), I have managed to get this thing into remission. !! So very relieved that the path I chose, going with food medicine and natural healing methods, against my endocrinologist’s advice, panned out. Going against doctors and specialists when facing a serious illness, is actually quite unnerving. I’m happy to report that so far, so good.

ever more,

Sky on her Isle