I’ve done a few journeys to try to meet with an animal guide. All I’ve ever gotten was a wolf. And then, thinking I was just manifesting this wolf myself out of some ego-trip, because wolves are cool and who wouldn’t want one for their guide right? I would keep sending the wolf away. I did a journey and asked for something else. ‘I don’t want to see a wolf,’ I said. ‘I’m asking for my true guide to come forward.’
The journey looked something like this..
K, I wasn’t walking a dog, but otherwise, yeah that’s pretty much it. I was standing in the middle of a circle of rocks, on the edge of a field coming out of a forest, and then I was surrounded by a whole pack of wolves, lying close to the ground, just staring at me from under their hackles. It was a little unnerving. That’s the thing about wolves – they are so beautiful and yet menacing at the same time.
hmmm – and I still feel like I’m just making it all up.
So – I tried a journey to the Underworld one time, and I walked through caves for a long time to get there .. somewhere. Then when I came to an opening, there was light, like a late night winter sky light, and there were trees – big forest fir trees, and snow on the ground (I think – or the ground was white) – but this she-wolf came up to me and wouldn’t let me pass through into the cavern. She said I was not ready. That I was too fearful. I wrote the conversation down:
‘Are you my spirit guide?’
‘Thank you for coming. You are so beautiful!’
Then I pet her fur. She seems helpful but like a wild animal – feral. I feel cautious. I have a phobia of big dogs.
She hugs me and licks my face, but I’m not sure if I made that happen.
‘Do you have anything to tell me?’
‘What is it?’
You are not ready to be here.
‘When will I be ready?’
Here her voice says many things all at once:
You must practice. You will be ready when you decide to be. You must be true to yourself. You are too afraid.
‘Are you my spirit guide or are you a higher aspect of me?’
I am you
I feel a little disappointed.
‘The Goddess that I have been praying to all of these years, is she an aspect of me or is she the Creator?’
Another time, and this time really… when I think back on it, the wolf feels like it wasn’t me.
I ask for a guide. I’m on a rocky beach with a long stretch of sand that goes off into the distance and is flanked by a huge cliff face. I see an animal, a big wolf walking from far off in the distance, up the beach towards me. She has striking black and grey stripe markings. Almost like a husky-wolf cross. And bright blue eyes. When she gets to me she sits down, facing me, looking me in the eye. I realize she is waiting for me to say something. I kneel down in front of her, and thank her for coming, and say something lame like, ‘I have nothing to ask you’, or ‘I am not ready’ or something. This was one of the first journeys I’d done and so I really just wanted to see what would happen.
The wolf gets up and walks away down the beach. I want to stay with the wolf so I follow her for while but she is fast. I say ‘You look lonely wolf’ and she looks back at me and says, ‘I am not alone’, and just keeps on walking.
I hoped I hadn’t offend her by not having a question.
This wolf is not the wolf that came to me later – the one that said she was an aspect of me. I haven’t seen this wolf again, yet.
The meadow has tall tall grass. I stand on a stone circle in the middle of it. I ask my guardian to please come and see me. I was feeling a little desperate from previous failed attempts to see anything.
The wolf appears. I am so happy. He is brown with orange eyes. long legs. long snout. I say, ‘Thank you for showing me signs and a symbol for the next best step on my spiritual path.’
He turns and walks away, making a pathway through the tall grass. I follow him to a door standing on its own in the meadow. But then he veers off and goes past the door down this rocky path. We are surrounded by mountains. I find I can’t follow him. Like I’m supposed to go through the door, without him.
Symbols: DOORWAY, PATHWAY, MOUNTAINS, WOLF
Later that day I asked my husband to go for a walk with me and he suggested we ‘go see the wolves’ at the base of our local mountain (there is a wolf sanctuary there).
Skye on her Isle